Blessing Stories 

Your loving arms
by Betsy Daniels

Recently, my mother said that my grandmother, losing weight fast, was down to 87 pounds. She says "No, no, no" when people attempt to feed her. Mom said grandma definitely was not "herself". I made a decision that I must go see her as soon as possible.

Grandma is now 106, in a health care center 40 minutes away, and slowly telling us in her own way that she is ready to die. I want to be with her as often as possible, but I must admit that life at home has picked up and it is getting harder to go. So I grapple with my road trips to see her, because those days are always long and not easy.

This last week, the only day that worked to go was Wednesday, and of course, that morning we were getting the "new big snow storm" that was headed our way. Instead of waiting it out, I just decided I needed to shove off and see what happened. As I drove on the winding two lane roads, I could see that my trip would take longer than expected. More and more snow kept coming and the roads were getting slippery. I just kept a tight grip and prayed the whole way. After several hours, I finally arrived.

Grandma was in her bed, curled in a fetal ball, sleeping soundly. She looked as beautiful as the baby doll that lay next to her. Grandma, who has loved dolls all her life, used to sew my clothes, my Barbie doll clothes and many other doll clothes. For high school graduation she sewed me the most beautiful patchwork quilt with swatches from all of those clothes over my eighteen years of life. That blanket continues to lay on my bed.

Her hair was perfectly brushed back and her curls looked pretty. There were many blankets on top of her. I woke her briefly. She looked at me and smiled a little, but she could hardly keep her eyes open. I told her about my family, how much we loved her and missed her. I told her about the kids and all that they were doing in school. She was soon back to sleep.

I was not about to leave. What could I do now, I thought? I immediately thought of the pink chenille blanket I had brought her last time I had visited. Where was it? I soon found it on a chair, took it and draped it close around her shoulders and neck (she loves that). I sat in the chair and just stroked her forehead and hair and prayed, "God, please wrap your loving arms around my grandma. Your love is warm and comforting like this blanket. Help my grandma feel this warmth today. Bring peace and a sense of calm to her."

I realized that the blanket probably provided more comfort for me than for her, but it definitely was a connector for us. I am so grateful to God for those moments because it brings me happy memories of my grandma and me. I am slowly losing my beloved, but the blanket is one thing that is constant. It reminds me of her past, connected to mine, and of God's continuous love for both of us as we say goodbye a little bit every time.

About Grandmommy…
 by The Rev. Fran Moran
Montlieu-Welch United Methodist Church
High Point, NC

She’s given me a new name, Irene.  But sometimes she calls me Mary.  I love her for who she is – right now.  I sit with her a little every day, and it’s an unexpected joy.  Still independent, she wants to lead, but her balance is off.  Her feet turn the wrong way.  She’s frail and fragile, sometimes frightened.  So it’s best if we take our time for every task.  We take all the time she needs.  Patience in the simple chores…like getting up in the morning, eating a meal, or walking to her chair; we should all take heed.  Handholding is good standing or sitting.  Her conversation doesn’t make sense to outsiders or those who choose to live in the past (wishing she could be like she used to be, again).  She’ll never be that way anymore, but its okay.  She is who she is now.  I like our conversations.  I understand her in the intonations, the metric, there is a real language there, full of creative words, and yes, even sensibilities.   

She’s a rare beauty this woman is.  Some days she fares better then others.  But every day is so precious.  For her every face is brand new and everyday faces are brand new too.  She delights in ordinary things… like warm soup, the design on her lap quilt, the feel of the lamb I gave to her for Christmas, and the company that comes over to offer care.  She recognized green today.  What a thrill.  We all laughed with her … laughed at the sound of green, the way she said it.  “Green.” 

I’m not sad for her.  I love when she calls me Mary.  It’s nice to be called by a name.  When I leave for my house, we have good night kisses and always she remembers to say, “I love you.”  She still knows in the deepest kind of way what love is. 

I love her too.  She’s a gift to me these days. 

A Hard Week
by Missy Meyers
Youth Minister and Student
United Theological Seminary
Dayton, Ohio 

At our youth meetings, we have instituted a time of blessing and prayer before we leave together.  The youth have taken this prayer time seriously and we have prayed together over serious issues in their life. An important piece in this prayer time is that they know that the
concerns that we lift up will be prayed for the entire week, but not broadcast in the whole church. 
 
We have also begun a blessing and prayer time at the end of Sunday school. Often, the kids remind me when it is time to finish so we can have our blessing time. One week, a 4-year old told me that he "had a hard week..." and asked if he could have two blessings this week. Another 1st grade boy, started rubbing off his blessing balm, and I told him if he didn't want blessing balm, he didn't have to have it.  He told me that he wasn't rubbing it off, he was rubbing it in.  A  kindergarten girl asked me if she could give me the blessing. 

Those Who Mourn Shall Be Blessed
by The Rev. Fran Moran
Montlieu-Welch United Methodist Church
High Point, NC

It seems I have become the community AA chaplain.  I was called on to do a memorial service for one of their own today, a women, 69 years old who found out about the cancer in her liver just two short weeks ago. She was an artist - a painter and a gourmet cook.  Her specialties were portraits and pie.  She died peacefully on Saturday, after her best day ever - a day that felt like spring. 

It was a small gathering at the funeral home in a visitation room with closed doors.  Her body (prepared for cremation) was laid with care at the place where a coffin usually is.  She was covered with a beautiful cloth that resembled my blue prayer shawl.  I think it was a pall.  We gathered around her in chairs.  I offered words of grace and we listened to a Celtic tune with flute called "Gift".   

After a bit of silence, I invited those present to "paint a portrait" in words of what she had meant to them in their lives.  They talked a lot about her cooking... about her pies.  There was a sacramental quality in what they said and how they said it.  I read some scripture from Psalm 139 - talked about the portrait of us that God has created.  I talked about the unfinished works she left behind: the half knit sweater, the quilt top still with the basting stitches in it, her little grandchildren bouncing around in the room... 

Then we stood and recited the Lord's Prayer, and I offered each one a special blessing with the balm that Jackie made, full of sparkles, full of grace. 

I took each one by the hand, looked in their eyes and said, "You are a God's special creation, unfinished, and incomplete, yet being perfected in love.  Cherish Judith's life through the love you give others."   

Our benediction was the passing of the peace, as the Irish flute played... 

All is well, all is well. 

So, the dance continues.

Blessing Based Spiritual Nurture in a Local Church
by Arlys Fogt, Program Minister
 Greene Street United Methodist Church
Piqua, Ohio 

Blessing with Youth at Confirmation

After being introduced to the Blessing Center for children and taking the Blessing Center certification class I prepared the worship service for our 2003 confirmation class. I felt that doing the blessing balm service would be very meaningful and visual way to show the congregation what I was excited about. There were only girls and I said to each girl: "(their name), God was with you at your baptism, God is with you today as you are confirmed in the faith, and God will be with you as you journey in this faith."  Then the congregation sang the verse Don Rogers wrote for the "Spirit Song", with the chorus changed to “Jesus and Spirit, God in Heaven above Bless these girls before you, Bless these girls with love." 

Blessings for the Children and the Whole Congregation

We call our Rally Sunday "Blessing of the Backpack Sunday/Pizza Blitz." and have it the Sunday before the first day of school. Grade school age children and pre-schoolers are asked to bring their backpacks with them to church this Sunday. Expanding on the liturgy we used last year (thanks to the Rev. Sandra Huber, Troy First UMC),  I wrote it as a three voices litany for our congregation which is arranged in three sections  of pews:

Litany of the Blessing of the Backpacks

Left:  Crayons,
Right:  Pencils,
Left:   Scissors,
Right:  and glue
Center: Backpacks, school bags, pencil boxes, too.
Left:  Getting up early,
Right:  Walking,
Left:  So very much to learn.
Right:  So many to help:
Left:  Teachers, counselors, principals
Right:  Bus drivers, secretaries
Left:  Cooks, librarians and janitors, too.
Center:  God is with us in our learning and in all that we do.
Left:   Riding
Right:  or taking the bus
Center:  New teacher, new classmates; new subjects to learn. 
 
Unison Prayer:  We thank you, God, for the resources and school supplies
that help our children and students of all ages learn.  We thank you for
children and all involved in our children's education.  We ask you to
bless workers with children, the children of this extended community, and
persons of all ages who seek to learn and to grow.  Amen.
 
While the children were up in front of the sanctuary with their backpacks, a public school teacher in our church read "The Kissing Hand."   Each child was given a memento (flashlight ) to hang on their backpacks that said "Greene Street UMC is praying for You"  --  junior high, senior high and college students were asked to come up & receive this reminder also.
 
We concluded worship with the Blessing Balm service after the verses as printed in the hymnal of the "Spirit Song" were sung. We asked the entire congregation to participate if they desired using the same format as communion.  Our church has three pastors so each one took a station and extended God’s blessing to each person as they came to his/her station.  It was very moving, some persons even cried as I said their name and  that God created them, God loves them, and God was with them always. (This showed me that adults desire this special reminder too.)  At the conclusion, we sang the new 3rd verse to the "Spirit Song."
 
And in Children’s Church

Using the model Jackie Nowak created for Memorial Presbyterian's Preschool, I adapted it for our Children's Church. Because I strongly believe children need to be in the sanctuary worshipping with their church family part of the time, they are in “Children's church” only during the sermon time and closing hymn/benediction.  While there I want them to feel that the room we are in is a sacred place, where God speaks to them. 

I made an altar the height of the chairs in children's church and painted it gold.  I put a prayer shawl on it, white, with blue stripes and fringe on each end.  On this altar I placed the Holy Bible, candle lighter, blessing balm and prayer lamb.  I explain at least once a month what we are doing because we have new children at least that often. After I light the candle we read God’s Holy word as they sit quietly.

After the candle is blown out the children may talk about the scripture, or I might, or we let the scripture speak for itself and go into prayer.  I pass a lamb and children can pray to themselves or pray out loud or voice a prayer concern.  When they finish they say Amen and pass it to the next child.  I end the prayer time with the lamb.  We conclude each
Children's Church with the blessing service. This has made this time more sacred as we are give children a special space where God is with them.

Preschoolers and Seniors

The Memorial Church Preschool went to sing at a local assisted care living center. After they sang, the class gave a Prayer Shawl to a man who is a member of the church. One of the 5 year olds offered Blessing Balm and said, "God blesses you", to him.   

His teacher writes, "He did a wonderful job giving Mr. B. the shawl and blessing balm. Then he went around to several other older people and asked if they would like some blessing balm.  We explained that we got blessings along with the blessing balm at our chapel time and wanted to share some blessing balm with them.  The older people just loved it - the women and even the men.

“All the children did a great job interacting with the older people.  Even though there were patients from the dementia ward with us, which can be a little scary for the children, our children handled it great!"

Blessing Balm and Seniors
by Jill Croswell, Chaplain
Twin Towers Retirement Community
Cincinnati, Ohio

Blessing balm was one of the many activities that Jackie Nowak shared this past summer in the class she taught with Don Rogers at United Theological Seminary entitled Spiritual Growth and Human Development.  It consists of putting a sparkly fragrance on the outstretched hand or arm of a small child while reminding them, “ God created you; God loves you; God is with you; God blesses you.”  What a simple way to remind young ones that they are special to God.

I thought why couldn’t that same sparkly fragrance remind another, older generation of the same thing?  It can-and it does!

I serve that population as a chaplain at Twin Towers Retirement Community in Cincinnati, Ohio. I found they need and appreciate that reminder as much as anyone else.  Yes, they are as receptive to blessing balm as those of nursery school age.

With their permission I put blessing balm on their hand or arm as I repeat that simple phrase, “God created you; God loves you; and God blesses you. This seems to be especially welcomed by those residents on the dementia floor where we celebrate weekly worship. They too, have been awesomely and wonderfully made, and love to be reminded of that! 

Blessing balm is not a regular part of our worship, rather it is one that is brought out at those times in the lives of our residents that they need to experience that love of God in unique and special ways.

The Blessings of Blessing Balm
from Jaimee 

My 18 month-old daughter found my blessing balm in my youth group tote bag, pulled it out, and pointed to her forearms where we give her blessings. So I blessed her and she pointed to her “Dada” to have him blessed as well. So I blessed him. He immediately opened up about his feelings toward his great uncle who died over the weekend. Although he had initially said it didn’t affect him, he began sharing memories and his sadness. It was really amazing. Later in the evening, Zoë was still playing with the bottle and made the sign of the cross on her daddy’s forearms with the bottle. 

I just was reading a passage in a booklet that said: “Truly blessed people go around blessing others”. Thank you for sharing those blessings.

Another Blessing
from Debbie 

Daddy walked into the kitchen this morning to find our daughter sitting on the floor with our dog "Cookie".  She had her blessing balm in her hand - holding onto the dog's paw - saying "God loves you and I love you Cookie" - then she started giving Cookie some blessing balm on the paw. 

The Blessings of Children
various authors 

Praising God

Olivia prays using her own words at home. She praises God and blesses things and people. Her words come from Children’s Chapel. -From Olivia's mom

A Region Teacher

Mary, who spent her preschool years at Memorial Preschool and is now in Kindergarten, was talking to her mother, while mom showered.

"Mommy, when I grow up I think I want to be a teacher."

"That's nice Mary. A teacher like Mrs. Mueller, at your school?"

"No. A region teacher. A region teacher, like Mrs. Jackie (the Chapel leader). And a ballerina." 

A Dream of God

"I met with a new 6th grader and asked her if she had a religious preference or believed in God,  and she said--"I don't go to church--never have--but I dream of God often."

I said, "Could you tell me?" 
 
She said, "Well in one dream God comes to earth and she has to stop the devil from coming to heaven to fight her.  And she finds a man and gets him to go to hell with her and she convinces him to overthrow the devil in hell and he does and then she takes him to heaven with her."

It is one of the first times a child called God "she" and so naturally!  It was incredible--interesting dream huh?  I love this kid--can't wait till our next session!" -Leanne Hadley

Listening and Hearing

Today Maxwell, 4, who doesn't know me except in chapel and the hallway, came in to chapel with his hand up - he had to share as soon as he was allowed that his cousin had swallowed a quarter which was stuck in his throat and he couldn't eat.

Amazing care for others in these young preschoolers.

Beatrice who just turned 3 said, "My friend, Dominic, is with me today." Her friend Dominic happens to be her brother.

Such a holy time the listening and hearing in Children’s Chapel.

One cried most of chapel in his teacher's lap; "It's OK." I told him, "God is here with you even on bad days"... -Jackie Nowak,Director, The Blessing Center, Chapel Leader for Memorial Presbyterian Preschool, 2001-2004 

"Mommy, we need to hold hands." 

One night Jennifer (my wife) was taking a bath and Kathryn (my daughter) came wandering in.  Kathryn- who was four years old at the time- told Jennifer, in the most serious voice a four year old can muster, "Mommy, we need to hold hands." 

Jennifer asked her why they needed to hold hands and Kaat said, "We hold hands because that's how we know God." As Jennifer tells it, at this point there was no way she was not going to hold hands with Kathryn. -Daniel, United Theological Seminary, MDiv student 

An 8 year-old’s Gift of Blessing

Drew made several prayer beads...different styles, different beads.  I liked the ones he did.  He made one for Mrs. Fraver.  She wrote a thank you to him.  He made one for me to send to a friend's daughter-in-law who is ill & taking treatments for three brain tumors at Cleveland Clinic.  I haven't mailed it yet, but found myself wanting to send a little "blessing poem" but didn't get creative so it's still here.  It's that wee small voice that speaks to me.  I thought a precious little verse to explain it would be better than me trying to explain. -Virginia, Drew’s grandmother
 

"Shhh, Mommy, Listen"

Katy, was in the kitchen with her mom making cookies one afternoon. The sunlight slanted through the open window; birds sang in the distance.

Katy said, "Shhh, Mom, listen."

"What, Katy?"

"Shhh, listen," the child insisted.

"What am I listening to?" asked Mom.

"If you are quiet and listen, you can hear God talking to us."

Cara Koch
First Congregational Church (UCC)
Colorado Springs, CO

Reading your experience with this age group (at Chapel time), made me want to share my experience with the same age group. The second time (I offered the children God’s blessing), there was only one child in the group of 8 who had done it once before.

He kept his eyes shut both times way beyond the time I told them they could open their eyes...then all the children waited very patiently for their blessing, and did just as you described--pushed up their sleeve and held their arm out before I asked--after watching just the first child!

►Cara Koch is a student in the Blessing Based Spiritual Nurture Doctor of Ministry Program at United Theological Seminary, Dayton, Ohio.